Dear Doctor

Dear Doctor,
         I know you help people everyday and that is most likely why you went into this profession. I know that is your primary goal, but doctor, there are some things I want you to know. I want to tell you about a trip I had to your office several years ago.
         After months of dealing with severe anxiety, I called your office and made an appointment. I wanted to thank you for having time to see me that day. If I would have had to wait for another day I am not sure I would have gone to see you at all. So, thank you.
         I remember I walked into your waiting room and checked in. They told me it would be a few minutes. I understand that you have a lot of people to see, but I need you to know how much courage it took me to sit in that waiting room. I was sweating, shaking, I thought I was going to throw up. Not even magazines helped. All I could do was focus on my breathing.
       After about 10 minutes, one of your nurses came out and took me to a back room. They asked me why I was there and said you would be in shortly. I am not trying to complain, but sitting alone in a backroom with no windows, makes an anxious, claustrophobic person even more anxious and claustrophobic. Like I said, I am not trying to complain but it is important that you understand there are people out there with anxiety a lot worse than me, and if I barely made it, it's no wonder so many don't get the help they need.
       I remember you walked into the office looking at my chart, sat down and asked how I was feeling. It was not another, "why are you here?" or "what can I do for you?"  You were truly asking me how I was feeling and I want to thank you for that. As you know, I started crying before I could even respond and the word, "miserable" barely came out of my mouth. You look startled, but handed me kleenex and told me to take my time. That meant a lot to me. Thank you for not rushing me.
      I explained to you all that was going on, my lack of sleep, my fear of just about everything, my concern of not being a good wife, friend, daughter, employee, student, etc. You didn't look at me like I was crazy, you didn't make judgements about what kind of a person I was, you just said, "We can figure this out." You gave me options, we made decisions and you walked me through what to expect.
       I started a daily medicine at a low dose and worked my way up to the highest dose over a few months as planned. You also gave me a medication for panic episodes and for the everyday tasks I was having trouble doing. You suggested books and counseling. Although I was not ready for counseling yet, I read everything I could get my hands on about anxiety.
       It took several months and there was more times than I can count that I wanted to come back in and tell you the medicine was not working. But, it was......slowly.....I almost didn't see it. I began to change my routines and mindset and the medication allowed me to do everyday things that made me feel a little more normal.
        I know it was probably just another appointment to you, but it wasn't to me. I know you probably haven't thought about it since, but I have. You helped give me hope when I was losing it and showed me that life could get back to a wonderful, fun place. Thank you for treating me like a person. Thank you for helping me.

Erin